Arrival

I received a huge prescription of Adderall the other day, and this time it was to make some cash. I recently stopped taking them for recreational and suicidal purposes, but the past couple of days I relented a little. I did partake of some adderalls, mainly because I wanted to see how vastly different my mood is on them. It's different, because I'm more focused. That's it. I just want to sell them so I can have some cannabis, the only chemical that relaxes me without destroying my body.

Today I was fucking psyched, now I'm worried as fuck, because it was a huge risk getting them and the shit will hit the fan if I have no results tonight.

What I get for being optimistic? Zero.

I. just. want. to. relax.

fuck.

Not So Happy?

Welcome to the club.

Most of the time it feels like no one cares about a fucking thing I have to say. I normally don't care much for other people's opinions of me, but everyone needs someone to just.. talk to, about shit.

I hold out on people all of the time, about how smart I am. I'm not naive, or gullible, or anywhere near as absent minded as I come off sometimes. I just don't think anyone gets me to begin with, not because I'm smarter(not saying that), but because of who I am.

It wears me out.